This week I have taken a beating, both emotional and physical (I just counted 5 bruises and just as many small cuts from fingernails). It’s the emotional one that hurts the most though and will take the longest to heal. Cuts and bruises I can take they don’t bother me at all, my kids don’t mean to give them and they are wounds I am glad to wear in order to work with these special children. The silence from me the last month and a bit is because all I’ve been doing is work since we’ve started up again. And I’m not joking about it either, I’ve been averaging 11 hour days at the school and then coming home to do more work. Two meetings within three days left me feeling that more is wanted and I don’t have anything left to give, there are literally no more hours in the day and I felt like the expectations were just impossible to meet. It also made me, for the first time, really understand why a lot of people don’t last in the teaching profession beyond two years. It’s a tough gig and if you don’t feel supported it can be crushing. Also when you’re not meant to talk about your work there isn’t much to share on a blog which is why it’s been so quiet over here recently.

All that being said I still know that this is where I am meant to be, I’m learning a lot about myself as well as about teaching the kids and both are equally valuable. I am learning the importance in finding my value and worth not in my job and how well I am or am not doing at it but in who I am and my identity found as a daughter of God. That I am loved, that I have a worth beyond imagining and if I let him he has plans for me beyond what I could imaging. Much easier said than done but small steps.

On to happier things.  It has been a shamefully long time since I last posted and that results in several big things that have happened, my Dad and Godfather stopped by for a few days on their way back from India which was super lovely. We had a great night out for dinner at Jaimie’s Italian and Dad and I checked out Winter Wonderland which was busy and crazy and quite a lot of fun as well as the Turner exhibition (which was amazing!) and went to a Sunday service at Westminster Abbey (because then you get to go in for free, stunning building, very dead service. It had beautiful music but there was no real life there. No chance for people to actually connect and engage with what was going on).

I’m going to be trying to get a bit of a weekend going soon so I’ll hopefully be getting out and about the city again. I trust that the New Year (can I still say that) has started out well for you.